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Depressingly regressive and borderline dangerous, "Moms’ Night Out" peddles archaic notions of gender roles in the name of wacky laughs. But it also wants to be "About Something." It wants to inspire as well as entertain. It’s "The Hangover" aimed at Christian audiences, and if that sounds like an impossible prospect, well, that’s because it is."Moms’ Night Out" is just as afraid to let loose as its characters are. Then again, the people who populate this picture are more like clichéd, cardboard types: the frazzled, stay-at-home mom; the well-meaning, absent dad; the flighty best friend; the snooty restaurant hostess.

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Why must faith-based offerings be so lame and—worst of all—so out of touch with reality?Basically, the moral of the story is: Don’t go out. Because if you do, all hell will break loose—or rather, all heck.That’s the lesson Allyson (Sarah Drew of “Grey’s Anatomy”) learns the hard (and unfunny) way.(Download Moms' Night Out) A married, suburban mother of three whose husband (Sean Astin) is usually away on business trips, Allyson struggles to find the time and inspiration to be a mommy blogger, but she’s usually chasing after her kids, cleaning up their messes or prying their heads out of toilets when they get stuck. (Don’t ask—it’s a running bit.) She also happens to be a control freak who’s obsessive about cleanliness, which is a difficult thing to be when you’re a parent. The perky Drew would probably be much more likable with better material.

Directors Andrew and Jon Erwin, working from a script by Jon Erwin and Andrea Gyertson Nasfell, often depict the chaos of Allyson’s daily life in sitcom-y fashion with words that pop up on screen, cutesy little graphics and lots of manic, overly explanatory narration. We get it, she’s stressed out. And at first, “Moms’ Night Out” reveals a recognizable nugget of truth: that women are hard on themselves and have unrealistic expectations about being all things to all people at all times.(Download Moms' Night Out) (Note to self.) Then it takes that nugget, wraps it up and smothers it in shrill, zany packaging.In desperate need of some “me” time, Allyson dares to arrange a night out with two equally overwhelmed mothers: her childhood best friend, the dizzy Izzy (Andrea Logan White), and the proper preacher’s wife, Sondra (Patricia Heaton, who’s also a producer on the film).I say “dares” because going out means leaving the children in the care of their husbands, who are totally incompetent.

Allyson’s husband would rather play video games, and Izzy’s husband (Robert Amaya) is actively afraid of their twins.And he doesn’t even know yet that she has another baby on the way. Izzy takes a pregnancy test on the way out the door for this much-anticipated, much-needed girls’ night (as one would) and is shocked to learn that it’s positive. My first thought was: “Oh, she’s panicking because it’s going to be obvious she’s expecting when she doesn’t order a drink at dinner.”(Download Moms' Night Out) But we don’t even get that far. We barely get past sodas at the bowling alley. It’s possible to be a good Christian and still have a glass of wine from time to time, yes?Anyway, the three women do indeed find themselves in trouble—not because they’ve done anything wrong, but because they keep trying to do something right. Allyson’s sister-in-law, Bridget (Abbie Cobb), has left her own baby with his father for the night to take a part-time job. Or so she thinks.

Tracking down the infant’s whereabouts sends the ladies on a frenzied tour of their unnamed town (the film was shot in Birmingham, Alabama). This includes a stop to a tattoo parlor (which, in their sheltered minds, is the most dangerous place on Earth), a police chase involving a cab and a minivan, a run-in with a biker gang and, eventually, jail.None of this is as exciting as it sounds.(Download Moms' Night Out) The antics are all dismally tame.For the most part, though, “Moms’ Night Out” surprisingly isn't too preachy. The church is a natural part of these women’s lives—how they know each other, where their kids socialize, what they talk about in casual conversation. The potentially disastrous events depicted in “Moms’ Night Out” don’t represent a crisis of faith so much as a reminder of its purpose.The closest we get to a sermon comes from an unlikely source: country star Trace Adkins as a biker with a heart of gold named Bones.

With his hulking frame and gravelly voice, he’s actually the best part of the movie, oddly enough. But the ultimate message here is unmistakable, regardless of your religious beliefs: A woman’s place is in the home, not out on the town.Aspiring “mommy blogger” Allyson (Sarah Drew) narrates Moms’ Night Out in a digressive,(Download Moms' Night Out) stream-of-consciousness ramble and with a tense, barely controlled hysteria that suggests the character might snap and take a machine gun to a schoolyard, if she weren’t anchoring a Christian family film. Buried deep, deep within Moms’ Night Out is a raw, cathartic, revealing psychodrama about the soul-shredding pressure of being a mother in contemporary society. But that version of the film is in absolutely no danger of escaping; it would just complicate the film’s pat messages about faith and the importance of family.

Allyson is a mommy on the verge of a nervous breakdown, just barely holding it together in the face of the inhuman stress she faces every day as a teacher, mother, and wife. She needs a break—a night out, as it were—but Moms’ Night Out instead sends her and her vanilla cohorts for a walk on the mild side,(Download Moms' Night Out) as they encounter such exotic (to Christian family audiences, at least) creatures as tattoo artists, bikers, and people who look and act like they regularly smoke marijuana cigarettes, even though it’s illegal.The genial shenanigans begin when Allyson gets her loving, supportive, slightly clueless husband (Sean Astin) to look after the kids so she can enjoy a child-free evening. She gets dressed up and heads to dinner with friends Izzy (Logan White) and Sondra (Patricia Heaton), the seemingly perfectly put-together wife of a beloved pastor (Alex Kendrick, a doughy, pasty middle-aged man who is nevertheless a Christian superstar, thanks to his participation in the smashes Courageous and Fireproof).

The titular evening of maternal escapism begins to go awry when the moms’ dinner reservation at an upscale New Age restaurant turns out to be for a different weekend, and they discover, to their horror, that a baby has gone missing. The search for the infant sends these mothers out into a shadowy but thoroughly PG nighttime world of slackers, no-goodniks, ne’er-do-wells, a British cabbie suspiciously invested in the stars’ plights, and young men who look like they have been playing what Allyson refers to as those dastardly “death videogames” and drinking alcohol,(Download Moms' Night Out) instead of listening to their pastors’ wise counsel. Still, it periodically steps away from this family-friendly parade of kooks so Heaton, who also executive-produced the film as part of her ongoing crusade to liberate entertainment from ungodly heathens, can deliver life lessons on Christ’s compassion to her grateful protégé Allyson.This comedy is never afraid to preach the gospel, but the sermonizing comes second to its good-natured but seldom successful hunt for mild chuckles.

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It’s a cleaned-up variation on movies like Date Night and Adventures In Babysitting, which were pretty cleaned-up and family-friendly already, albeit without the explicit references to Jesus that serve as dog whistles to the faithful. Moms’ Night Out is purposefully un-hip, but that doesn’t keep it from trying to keep up with the times in ways that are so painfully,(Download Moms' Night Out) unconvincingly of the moment that they already feel dated. It’s as if the screenwriters pieced together the specific details of their film from a Google search for “young-people words,” and turned up such seemingly contemporary-sounding results as “blog,” “Groupon,” “Coachella,” “Auto-correct,” “Pinterest,” and “Gangnam Style.” Drew’s likable but overly caffeinated performance lends the film a certain manic energy, and country singer Trace Adkins gives a nicely understated performance as “Bones,” a tattooed biker-type whose grizzled exterior hides the warm heart of the church boy he used to be. The film benefits from the low standards that typically greet faith-based movies, which are seldom expected to be good, just Christian.

(Download Moms' Night Out) Moms’ Night Out inherently preaches to the choir, but it’s understated enough that at various times, it could pass for a hokey television movie from the 1980s, the kind that might star Pam Dawber, or a pre-divorce Meredith Baxter-Birney. It’s a passable knock-off of less-godly but more inspired secular fare, which may not sound like high praise, but is clearly all the filmmakers were aiming for. They set the bar low enough to clear it.This movie is refreshingly wholesome and since I had my 17 year old daughter with me, it was nice not to worry about embarrassing scenes.(Download Moms' Night Out) I thought it was a girls movie, and it would be perfect for a girl's night out, but it was also a movie that would be awesome for a date night if you have young kids. It was funny, and quirky, but it also had moments of deep truth about what it is like to have those "mommie moments" when you just feel like a total out of control mess. It addresses the sense of failure moms with young kids and teenagers often have, and you walk out a little bit renewed. Dad's will gain better understanding of what it is like to be a mom. All of these cute life lessons are wrapped around goofy humor that is a lot of fun. Trace Adkins as a big, burly biker guy was adorable. This is a perfect Mother's Day movie that is totally appropriate for kids too.

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